The house was under the rule of death....every object of value including the furnitures were rolled down and stacked away. The bare walls showed the outlines of the once displayed magnificent paintings . Monica was staring blank; she looked at the piano which was standing in the same corner of the  room. This time it looked pernicious and pawned  covered  with a white sheet........it laid supposedly undestined... waiting...  !!  Her heart crunched the moment she focused on  the stool ; she remembered  Tulip on  that  " throne of jazz " . Tulip considered herself as the queen in the musical world......she used to feel so proud and confident once she sat on that stool . She 'd  move her  fingers beautifully on the piano and sing relentlessly for hours . Monica looked up at the chains of streamers in pink , magenta, yellow  still trailing across the wall....the echos of that eventful evening  was yet so clear------the lights ,the celebrations ,the cheers made the evening  as beautiful and as elusive as butterflies.... Trophy -  triumph had turned up the trumps for that little girl in spectacular speed  ...... 
                 Monica felt a little giddy and  lost her balance this time and sat down hard on the chair . Outside , the headlights flashed and disappeared........ the phone cranked. Colonel spoke for a minute and hung up .....he peeped in through the window and seeing Monica  in the room  came in and said ....., " oh,  almost packed darling ....in such a short time ". Colonel  had  decided to move , thinking his new job in a different environment would help them to leave the past  behind ; though  the mother was confident that  , it would not  work .....  often  her sense of loss stirred up  like flames out of embers.Monica  was almost paralyzed with grief . 
                    The three years of yearning...calling......its tang , left the couple in total shambles. Monica remembered the day the little glass casket came home with Tulip's body...Col. went around the town like mad collecting the best flowers  of that season  to decorate the casket . A  pink  satin cloth was propped up first and then came the delicate orchids , chrysanthemums, roses , tube roses... The mother stayed speechless near her daughter ..... focused on the dead child. Tulip's  eyes were wide open when she was brought home , it was still radiating light .... ...still pleading for life ...Monica closed her eyes and wished ........." God, please wake her up for a minute and let me have a word with her .....want to tell her  how much she was loved....and how much she will be missed ". There was no answer . Almost , the whole township  was bereaved .... crying at the loss .The little pride of that little town was lying in complete silence  this time .Thousands thronged to pay their last respect to this " wonder child----the youngest champion of  voice of India " !!! 
                               It was not very easy for Monica to forget the sequences that kept unfolding and led the child into this glorified  DEATH .......... Boy, the graph was steep ! After winning the championship , there was no looking back for her . Flood lights fell through the screens and drew beautiful patterns in her glory. The haunting sounds of her musical -spectrum promised fame and success . Without blinking an eye ,  the proud parents kept walking along with the child ....wrapped up in her glory  and recognition .....counting money in their hands.It was a different world for them now... ...Gradually , higher expectations from the parents , neighbours , friends , teachers started  trickling down  stress on the fifteen year old ; and at one point she just couldn't handle it any more . Accepting  defeats became impossible for that little mind ; unable to fathom her limitations,the girl went into deep depression.Col.  realised and looked puzzled now. He shook his head to clear away the dream. He felt terribly foolish ; the golden voice had already started rattling wild and furious......Light had gone out...... Tulip's face looked scary now...eyes still looking blank ..unfocused.....saliva dribbling through her jaws.....! 
                            Next morning Col. decided to consult Dr. Sameer , the psychiatrist. He went to his chamber and waited for his turn. He was ushered in by Sujata, the clinic nurse .Dr. Sameer was his club associate , so it took Col.  sometime to actually broach the topic . After a lot of speculation , he  took the courage to say ," It was wrong to do what I did in the past ; and its right to remember and make a confession about it now . There has to be some kind of punishment . I need to make amends...." Dr.Sameer started thinking , he had heard about the ailing child from someone just the other day....so could assimilate what Col. actually meant . He passively said " How can you be right or wrong ? Bring her , let me see her case .Don't worry , we shall find  a way out " . Col.was slightly relieved that day and drove back  home. 
                              Next morning was rather one of the better mornings for Tulip. She looked happy , co-operative , hence taking her to the clinic was not a hassle .  The moment she saw the doctor she became extremely thrilled at first ..... , she spread her arms, part casual , part crucified; ......then....... let them fall. The psychiatrist shook his head. He took some more details , observed the child and then ,  took out a desk note and wrote :...." multiple personality schizophrenia " and handed it out to the couple. He underlined it twice and announced that  she has to be pushed into a rehabilitation center  for an advanced diagonosis and treatment. 
                           The couple rose and sailed out of the clinic with  the child and started walking through the corridor. Monica suddenly felt giddy and  collapsed in the corridor. Col. screamed and the doctor and the nurse came out to help him .Monica was wheeled into a recovery ward and made to stay there for a night . She didn't feel like introducing herself to anybody  that day , she laid by her side , kept looking out of the window as night fell on the scrubby bushes outside.The darker it got outside, the brighter it bacame inside with the neon lights. The nurse came in and  offered a sleeping pill. She took it. She wanted to be dead ....That night her slumber was deep and seemingly peaceful ,dreamless .... Next morning when she woke up she found Col. sitting near  the bed staring and caressing her  .... waiting ....Monica got petrified  ,jumped up  ,  looked here and there , and moved her lips now ....." tulip? " " Is she already in ?" Col. quiverred and  nodded  his head . He drove his wife home without saying a word.
                            The gruesome journey had already started. The couple used  to visit the child every morning and evening . The normal routine of the father was  visiting  the various experts everyday in the morning and on way back he used to pick up ....chocolates,  colourful comics ....thrilling battery operated indoor games for Tulip . All his mission was, to divert the attention of that beautiful  mind !!!!.The team of doctors were waiting  to see the child taking interest in life ,get into some thing of her interest and thrive naturally........But , to Monica , it was a bizarre expectation............"How in the world----? " , she would say  , "It wasn't easy ..." !!!!! She  looked at her daughter and thought , perhaps , she had embraced this change out of deep unackowledged yearning.......PERHAPS SHE WANTED TO LIVE LIKE A CHILD !!! The guilt was killing the mother .Monica seemed to be getting more and more confused everyday.The stillness of the  atmosphere  was broken by a sound suddenly ;  she turned around  and found Tulip  humming this time .. ....She ran to her and pressed her mouth with her palm , so that not a single note could deluge .......she hadn't eaten a morsel for days now....had become so weak . The bitter possibility filled the mother with an excruciating rush of fear...... their eyes met , and the anguish made her eyes fill with tears. Monica hugged her daughter and closed her eyes .....the arms holding her was stiff and steady . Tulip stopped humming and looked through the window and slowly dozed off to sleep  . But , at the edge of Monica's mind , her lost daughter hovered, watchful and silent.... 
                           The house was quiet. The furnace clicked off, leaves rustled on the trees outside. Distantly the bedroom door was half opened and Monica's mother came down the stairs. Monica realised it had already become dark outside , so  got up to switch on the light...This time Monica's  mother came over and touched her fingers lightly and held her in her arms. ....." Don't turn on the light my dear ". Monica understood....and asked  ,  "....... Tulip ? ". Grandmother couldn't say a word ....just locked her hard in her embrace and said " We have lost her....she is no more ....be steady now Monica for Colonel....he is not looking very good ".......Monica stood still ....stoned.......



A FICTION