Most evenings I would find NANDINI sitting on a stool near the out-house feeding her four year old child. Till then, I had never met any one living in such a precarious serenity ever in my life. Looking at her she looked so positive yet pumiced.....
           Our house was in a valley that seemed suspended in time and space.....so beautiful that no human could ever hope to capture. The air was damp and cool , I was alone in the bungalow and decided to take out my dissertation papers to the table and  make a few progress with Descartes. Suddenly I  heard a door slamming behind. I looked up and my eyes met Nandini's.......I  was beginning to learn about the mother and the child---they  had the toughness and a different philosophical attitude towards life . Their awkward silence kept  me curiously coiled and cold  . Misfortunes made their dwelling so miserable that they forgot to live like humans.......I was convinced that there was something in the mother's mind which needed to be exhaled out of her system ....... . So, when I saw her at my door step , I allowed her in ..... She came in and sat in one corner of my room to  start a conversation. She sat opposite to me on the floor ; resting her hands and chin on her knees and kept looking and talking to me ....It was indeed a nauseous life which evidently left me rasping my nerves as she progressed with her disparaging tales.
           I had read and heard about  these hysterical melodramas and conclusions of rural marriages earlier ; but , little did  I know that I would  have a living example of this , walking around in my household at some point of time. There was nothing unusual in her tale----it was the usual recital and sound track of an old story where a daughter of a  poor family  gets trapped ..... gets into a wedlock.....and.... like every girl her life in  the beginning was also ecstatic ----but, soon her fightings in the in-law's household forced her to walk out of her marriage and return to her father. The parents, unable to handle the shame and extra burden of her expenses... once again , forced this girl  to withdraw silently into a world of solitude.By then she'd  realised that she was four months' pregnant--- a child of her loveless marriage was due----- Foreseeing all sides of adversities , she took refuge in a household away from home......... the  child was born in a government hospital and eversince then , its been a fierceful fight for her ; she has gradually learnt  to develop an irresistible power to soliloquize...She now looks no more petrified with the terror of 'rape', 'verbal abuse' , prostitution ...but , trying hard to survive in an understandable place with full of promise.
             As she went on  , I couldn't take my eyes off her , she had those piercing looks which were radiating her anger and  saying ...." there's no shame in it. No reason to keep it a secret. ". My gaze getting increasingly  intent made her expression grow a little hesitant now....as if she's suddenly blushing since she's been unmasked at last !! Now it was my turn to anticipate my reaction ....her embittered reality made me ... cold , dismissive...this time trembling with rage against the social system.
                  Every turn of every plot was etched into my memory. ......Unshakable self-confidence was the key to winning such battles I realised.... stand concerned  but, .......  in full control pretending all that I knew about her were mundane facts gleaned from conversation.....and nothing else ! 
                        A lot of steam was already out.The cloud of anxiety was looming over Nandini's head...but , this time dangerously low. Hence  I said, "Nandini, you start looking life in a different light hereon....you ponder with every surge....mingle with them...shuffle them , arrange-rearrange them...and let the light tell you....THERE WILL BE NO WON'TS , NO MORE DON'TS...YOUR FANTASY WILL HEREON LAND IN THE REALMS OF EXPERIENCE."......There will be just she and her and scores of fantasies filtering out embarrassment , fear leaving her immerse in deep , rich delicious world of unseen......Once she comes up to this stage she would no longer need strong doors to bolt.........I guess, she took my words as she rose up and started moving out of my room. I breathed a gulp of air and heaved a sigh of relief ! 
                         I closed my eyes and fell into my seat....numbed, that 's what precisely it was! Tears filled my eyes and I started sobbing uncontrollably.For the first time perhaps in my life , words failed to explain my feelings....my mind striving hard to purge off the sins.....
                         Dusk was beginning to gather, the sun wore a dull glow look in the overcast sky. The glass door suddenly opened  , releasing a rush of light and warmth. It was my father ........that familiar sight probably comforted me....consoled me...relieved me  ; my heart was suddenly surged with love and  happiness ....Dad climbed up the stairs and put his arms around my shoulders and nodded .....reassuring me ,as he used to when I was in my  teens...how patient he had been with me on  those vulnerable years, I wondered . I had been close to him. He was  affable to everybody ...tried to make wrong things right ...fixing the world was only getting intensified with his age.....I said , "baba, nandini's house of cards is collapsing...".My father understood what was troubling me. He said, "Tears will not solve this age-old problem...we can try to reduce them...its difficult to change the life of every single person.....things can improve if each one of us could rehabilitate ten such people in our lifetime".  A small gesture from each one of us could bring about a great deal in the lives of these unfortunates. 
                           He said, " Open the blinds now ...the sky has turned blue....seems a few buds like Nandini ,are  already swollen on the branches...touch and hold their hands ....energise them .I will be a proud father ". These words still haunt me.......
                           I wanted to speak and set things in motion. The right words hovered just in time and I seem to have found my voice. I sat down...in silence...in an ocean of silence if I may use...wondered if all the sins might drown here at last.